A small jump for joy!

Sunday June 3, 2012 | By Hieronymus Hawkes | Uncategorized

The weight has lifted.  I am complete with Air War College as of yesterday.  I feel lighter and my mood is noticeably better.  But…but..now I have no excuses to stop me from writing.  I need to get back in the writing saddle again, but I’ve been absent for so long that I have to find the horse and put the saddle on it.  I was so looking forward to this moment, but once it arrived I felt of barely perceptible pang of fear… just enough that I was able to notice it, and it surprised me.

I opened up my manuscript a few days ago when I had finished my last active part in the process (I had to wait for my mentor to approve and send in my self-assessment), and started to muddle through it.  I was on fire when I had last touched it and had made some really big strides in the revision, not only with correcting some syntax and tagging issues, but with a few concepts that I wanted to tweak.  I knew I was on my game, and it was thrilling to understand where I was at and where I needed to go to finish the last big revision. 

I’ve been analyzing my feelings (always tricky) and I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s rooted in a fear that I’ve lost some skill in the intervening months.  I’m hoping it’s a little like flying.  I can go for weeks without flying and still see no degradation of skills, but if I do that repeatedly, over the course of a year with long breaks between events, I see rust creep in.  I’m hopeful that it will work the same way, in that I can just refresh my writing currency and the rust will get buffed off.  I haven’t helped myself by keeping the blog up-to-date either.  I just haven’t had anything to blog about, at least nothing compelling.  I also hope that changes.  I am starting to sound like Obama, with all this talk of hope and change.

I’m excited about the future and I will be making a concerted effort to finish this next pass in a timely fashion.  I’m trying to get into a Master’s program this fall that will require me to focus on a new writing project, so I really need to have this one wrapped up by fall.


2 Responses

  1. Yay for finishing! I hope it was all worth it. I know what you mean about being afraid of losing your skill. I played the clarinet when I was in high school. Could I play it now? No way! But it's been 37 (ugh!) years, so it's kind of understandable. Hopefully the months you've been away hasn't done that much damage. I bet as soon as you open it up, and start reading it from the beginning, it will get your juices flowing again. That usually works for me!Even if you only start out by writing 50 words a day, that's 50 words you didn't have before. Now, get to it!

  2. Hi Stacy! Sorry I didn't reply right away, we left for Disney the day you commented. I didn't get on a computer for over a week! I'm back in writing mode again. Thanks so much for hanging in there with me!

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